Why I Need My Own Office

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There comes a time in a guy’s life when he needs his own space. That time for me is now. Having just celebrated my eighth birthday I pointed out to my parents that I am 56 years old in people years. This makes me the oldest person in the house. I also have a lot of pondering to do now that I am the Lead Dog and a Blogger.

Perhaps I could use Mom’s office. She has two desks so I could work from one but the office is the farthest point from the front or back doors. Since it is my job to protect all the doors it is hard to work from her office. Oh and she’s in there for most of the day doing her own blogging and yakking on the phone. It’s not exactly private space for me.

Having considered Dad’s office as my own since he’s out most of the day, I realize I sleep most of the day. This makes his office a little crowded when he gets home. Oh sure it’s great when we have things to talk about or when he needs me to lay on his shoes. I know where to find him when I have to tell him to fix his watch because it’s time to eat again already but it’s not a great office for me to do my work.

Dad’s office is dark and while I like to do a fair amount of pondering in that office, he’s on the computer a lot. He tells me he doesn’t want to take my dictation and that I need to grow opposable thumbs or hire someone to help me. Sheesh!

Here I sit a poor, office-less, opposable-thumb-less dog who blogs.

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Peanut Butter Addiction

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My name is Dusty and I am a peanut butter addict.  I have to admit that I will do anything to get peanut butter, especially if it’s warm, gooey, melted peanut butter like Christine has on her English muffins. Mmmmm! Just thinking about it is making me all drooly.  Unfortunately, this has led to many embarrassing photos of me licking my chops or begging.  I understand there may also be a shameful video floating around out there on the internet as well.

Sleeping under the table, between chair legs, in hopes of dropped peanut butter yumminess.

I even resort to sleeping under the kitchen table in hopes that some of the sticky, salty, golden goodness will drop down close enough for me to snatch it up.  I’ve been thinking that I’m probably not the only dog who faces this dilemma of giving up pride for peanut butter.  But I just can’t live without it!

Where I Lay My Head

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Where I Lay My Head

My mom and dad take a lot of pictures of me. In most of them I am laying my head on something…a box…a shoe…a pair of shoes…the bottom shelf of anything. Sometimes I like to switch it up and lean on the wall or table leg or chair. I just don’t know why I do this. It’s how I like to relax. It’s hard being a dog and most humans have no idea.

Humans let strangers in the yard and the house. Humans are busy working and not paying attention to the UPS delivery person or the mailman – or in our case lady. It is our job as dogs to be sure the humans know the mail or packages have been delivered. They need to know if someone rides a bike past the house or if their friends are at the door. That’s not all we do as canines.

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Where I Lay My Head

We also entertain humans with our tricks of fetch, sit, stay. Sometimes we have to walk our humans and remind them to take us to the doctor. Sometimes we run errands with them and guard the car while they are in the store. I don’t know what they do when go out without us so I worry about my parents a lot.

Being a dog is exhausting which is why I lay my head wherever I can and within a bark of my humans.

The Fetch Thing

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I am a Dandie Dinmont Terrier.

Well I guess it’s time for me to weigh in on the fetch thing.  First of all, I do not agree with Sam the Fat Cat.  Fetch is a wonderful game.  Cooper and Torre, I’m glad you and your humans enjoy it so much.  But it’s simply not my game.  You have to understand something.  I am a terrier.  Specifially, I am a Dandie Dinmont Terrier. No, not a ‘whaaaat?’…a Dandie Dinmont Terrier.  Yes it’s a real breed, a very old breed in fact.  Go ahead Google it.  I dare you.  See, I told you!  Now you have a good reason to watch the next Westminister Dog Show.

As you can see from my regal bearing in the photo above, my body isn’t designed for fetch.  Dandies are hunters.  We are search and destroy machines.  Notice how my front legs are lower that my back legs.  Also notice my strong front shoulders.  Please ignore the crook in my tail.  I beat up on my little brother a lot in those first 8 weeks but he exacted his revenge before I went to live with Christine. Don’t let my size fool you, I’m an alpha female and I know how to throw my 25 pounds around pretty well.  I’m small but I’m powerful.  I’d never make it over a hurdle like Torre does in flyball, but my compact size is perfect for a Dandie’s original job of hunting badgers in the Scottish highlands.

Of course I’ve never seen a badger but I do love stuffed squeaky toys.  I have a toy box full of them. Or rather, what’s left of them.  I pride myself on my ability to destuff and desqueak a toy in five minutes or less.  We Dandies have super strong jaws and I know how to use them.  I keep the skins.  My favorite game is called Dump the Toy Box.  I flip the lid off with my nose and toss my toys in the air one by one.  When I find the one I want, I grab and run for a sneaky spot to shred it a little more.  For some reason my toys disappear when there’s nothing left but strings.  I’ve never figured that out.

I also love to play Nice Doggy.  I stand on my toy and shred it. Then the humans try to psych me out and grab it away.  They usually try petting me and I growl and snarl like I’m going to tear them apart but of course, I would never do such a thing.  They laugh saying, “Nice Doggy…Good Doggy…MY TOY!!” and try to grab it.  Once in awhile I have to let them get it so they don’t get bored.  But I don’t let them keep it for more than a minute.  I just show them a whole lot of teeth.  Let’s just say it’s a smile, shall we?

The Simple Joys

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By Torre Henderson, Guest Blogger

Torre

Hi there!  I’d like to introduce myself.  I’m Torre Henderson and I’m two and a half.  I live near Boston with my Mom Cindy, and my two big bros Jeter and Mattingly.  Can you tell Mom’s a bit of a Yankees fan?  I was visiting my Aunt Shari this week and Dusty’s humans came over to play.  Dusty asked Christine to see if I’d like to add anything to the blog. How could I turn it down?

First of all, I have to say Cooper’s Mom is a super good sport.  I know baseball. Mom and Aunt Shari watch a lot of it!  I hear it’s not easy being a Mets fan.  I totally get that sportsmanship thing. Me and my brothers live to play flyball.  We go all over the country for competitions and we even were part of group trying to set a Guiness World Record.  How cool is that?  If you’ve never heard of flyball, I’ll give you the short version.  Dogs race down a track, jump of a series of hurdles, grab a ball from a special holder and race it back to the other end.  We have to get three balls, so that’s three trips up the track and three trips back.  We go really fast.  I’m a miniature Australian Shepherd.  Jeter and Mattingly are border collies.  I don’t mean to brag or anything but we have an awful lot of blue ribbons.  Mom is really proud of us.  This weekend, she’s taking us to Canada and Aunt Shari is coming too. Road trip! Gee, I hope Aunt Shari remembers her high school French and can order my some of that Canadian bacon.  Mmmmm….bacon…..oh sorry.  I was daydreaming for a minute there.

I do have to side with Cooper about the fetch thing.  Sorry Sam the Fat Cat, but I could play fetch all day long.  I fetch tennis balls, squeaky toys, frisbees, and my favorite canvas flying squirrel with the little rubbery paws.  Fetch is one of the simple joys of life.  It’s right up there with a doggy ice cream cup on a hot day or a great day of flyball with my teammates.  There’s just something special about trying to psych out a human, trying to figure out where they’re going to throw the thing next and be there when it comes down.  I love the feel of a flying catch!  Woohoo!!  It’s a little jump for joy.

It was so nice of Dusty to send her boys over here to play fetch with me.  I have to say though, humans get worn out mighty quick.  I heard the boys say Dusty doesn’t play fetch.  So Dusty, what’s up with that?

You win some. You lose some.

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Citifield Summer 2012

Citifield Summer 2012

My mom called me very early this morning to tell me about her trip to NYC. She went to Manhattan to visit her cousins. They had brunch and ended up at the Gay Pride Parade. She said it was an experience. BOL! Then she went to Citifield to the Mets game. She misses the old Shea Stadium but this new place is state of the art. I don’t really know what that means. I do know they play A LOT of fetch at Citifield; could be a great place for me to work.

There are a lot of lessons we learn in life. Mom said she learned about winning and losing last night. While it was great to be with friends and family, a couple of the friends were Yankee fans and the Damn Yankees won the game. When you lose a game it is always good to be gracious. Even though some people were yelling “Yankees Suck” my mom and her family and friends didn’t; they are good sports.

I miss her and Dad said she will be home in less than a week. I better get my act together because she will need me to help her unpack, lay on the dirty clothes, lay on the clean clothes and guard McAuley Freelance Writing. It’s a ruff life so remember that sometimes you lose and sometimes you win and that’s what life is.

My Family, My Heroes

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By Little Bear Moonwalker, Guest Blogger

Little Bear Moonwalker

My name is Little Bear Moonwalker and I’m really honored that Dusty and Cooper have given me this opportunity to guest blog on Beyond The Wet Nose. You’re probably wondering about my name.  I’m a chow/shepherd mix so you can see where the Little Bear part comes from but what about Moonwalker?  That’s  kind of a funny story.  I’m almost 16 years old, which is pretty darn old in dog years.  I can’t bark so well anymore.  Some days my arthritis acts up a bit  and it’s hard to walk on the bare floors.  I’m fairly certain that wood floors and linoleum were invented by cats, despite Sam’s talk of peace.  Anyway, on those days I try to stay on the carpet as much as possible but sooner or later I have to cross the dreaded kitchen floor to go outside.  I learned that if I sort of eased my way backwards across the floor,  I’m less likely to slip.  My family calls it Moonwalking.

I’m really grateful to have such an awesome family.  My Mom Karen and my Dad Billy take really good care of me.  Then there’s my brother Will and my sister Mandy.  They are the two most awesome kids any dog could ever hope for!

A big bark out to Will since today is his 18th birthday.  Wow man, that’s old!  Will just graduated from high school.  Hello, world – here he comes! He’s super nice to everybody.  He’s always helping Mom and Dad take care of Mandy.  He really sticks by her and encourages her.  What a great big brother!

Mandy is really special too.  She’s twelve and she just graduated from the 6th grade.  Look out Junior High!  When she was just little she started having seizures.  She’s had to have brain surgery  and she takes a lot of medicine to try to control them.  Sometimes she has too many seizures too close together and she has to go to the hospital.  I really don’t like when that happens because I miss her too much. She’s had seizures in all kinds of places and situations, even in her Grandma’s pool.  But what’s really cool is she never panics.  She knows exactly what to do to let someone know to help her and she stays calm through the whole thing.  Even when she had to spend weeks in the hospital earlier this year, she didn’t let it get her down too much.  She kept practicing her singing so she could get a solo in the school play. Even though it took her a long time and a lot of not-so-fun therapy after she got home, she got that solo!  Unfortunately, I didn’t get to go because they don’t let dogs in school.  But I hear she rocked the house.

My family are my heroes because when the tough stuff happens, we find a way to laugh about it, work through it  (yes, even if it means walking backwards) and just keep going.  I’m so proud to their dog.

Dogs & Cats: Peace Treaty Talks Continue

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Guest Blogger, Sam the Fat Cat

SamtheFatCat

SamtheFatCat

Shout to my main dogs Cooper and Dusty for the Guest Blogger opportunity. Shout out to my mom Cindy Cavoto of Fire Brand Social Media for letting me have canine contacts even though I could do without them. Shout out to me for having the ability to type and therefore have no need to have someone take dictation like a couple of canines that I know.

I hereby declare the Peace Treaty Talks of Dogs and Cats continuing. While it may appear on the surface that cats and dogs are alike since we are both furry, that’s where the similarities stop…or at least come to a grinding halt.

8 Reasons Cats are Better than Dogs:

  1. We are smarter and more conniving than any dog on any day will ever be.
  2. We don’t cry and whine or give “suitcase face” when the travel bags are taken out from storage.
  3. In fact we’re happy the humans are leaving and we hope the canines go with them.
  4. We don’t eat things we’re not supposed to or whine when our humans forget to kiss us goodbye.
  5. We clean ourselves. Enough said.
  6. Fetch is overrated.
  7. No exercise required or at least none that requires a leash or any sort of park.
  8. Chicken. It’s what’s for dinner.

All of these points are arguable and I understand that but when bark comes to meow, the meows will always win.

Cooper: He’s Hard Not to Love

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Since my mom left for Connecticut on Sunday night, I have been thinking a lot about our relationship. I have a lot of time to think about a lot of things. She’s usually home all day with me keeping me on my toes and ordering me around. She also gives me water, lets me outside, plays fetch and schedules in snack time – all before Dad gets home. When I saw suitcases on Sunday I knew something was happening and I didn’t want to miss it.

When the door opened for Dad to bring these big bags to his truck, I ran out in front of him. He then had to remind me in a not so nice tone that I am black and it is dark so no one could see me when I ran into the street. He’s told me this before but I just get so excited I can’t help myself. We were going FOR A RIDE IN THE CAR and who doesn’t get excited about that!!

I am guessing by the grumbling and my mom giving my dad “the look” that I wasn’t on the invitation list. Seems I may have invited myself which I often do.

Here’s a picture of another time I invited myself:

Apparently I am so big and lovable people can’t say no to me…and that’s a great place to be! Bark if you agree!

Cooper on the couch

Cooper on the couch…sort of…

Every Dog Needs A Good Lawyer

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The Accused: Mug shots make everydog look guilty.

Despite all my writing prowess, all the wisdom of my nine years and all the deep thoughts, I am still a young pup at heart.  So I will admit there are times when I do things that may not be officially ‘permitted’ by the human establishment.  At times like that, it’s a good idea to have a lawyer, preferably a human one, who will argue your case and most likely earn a more lenient sentence.  Lucky for me, I have Eugene.

I never realized the benefit of retaining

If you didn’t witness it, you must acquit!

counsel until this one day when Christine came home from the human vet and there just happened to be an empty bag of chips on my bed.  There were also a bunch of papers strewn across the floor.  I know things looked bad but when she posted the incident on Facebook, one of her human friends commented that perhaps some other very bad dog had come into the house, eaten the chips, then left the evidence on my bed as a frame up.  He said since no one actually saw me eat the chips, there was no proof.  Smart guy!

As it turns out, I didn’t have to look far.  Eugene has a brilliant legal mind even though the humans consider him young.  On Sunday, Christine left me home for about two hours while she went to church.  I was bored so I decided to play with my toys.

Well within the realm of fair play and obviously a fair trade.

She left her shoes, with socks in them,  right in front of my toy box.  I traded her my de-stuffed pink octopus for her sock.  It seemed like a fair trade to me.  But when she came home and saw that her sock had two holes in the heel, she was somewhat peeved.

Thank goodness Eugene came home on Monday.  He made an excellent case that I had indeed made a fair trade and that since the shoes with socks were left in front of my toy box, it could only be assumed that the socks fell within the realm of fair play.

Nothing celebrates a ‘Not Guilty’ verdict like a belly rub! I LOVE THIS GUY!

 

When Humans Travel

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I heard Christine say the Cooper’s Mom is going to come East to visit his Grandpa.  I also heard about his big time out for eating Mom’s snacks.  So I just have to say, “Cooper.  Dude.  I feel your pain, Dog.”

Christine and the boys left me behind a couple of months ago.  I tried everything I could to get them to stay.  I looked extra cute.  I was on my bestest behavior. I even tried to get them to pack me in the suitcase.

Hey, no BOL, it worked for that little stuffed dog of Eugene’s.  But nothing I did worked.  They left me. Not only that, but when they came back, they smelled like ANOTHER DOG.  I know it was only my cousin Dante, but still…they left me and played with some other dog!  Can you believe it?!Now I do have to give a bark out to Grandma because she made me a cheeseburger while they were gone.  And she kept my water dish full the whole time.  There may have been some bacon involved too.  So Cooper, don’t sweat it.  I know your Dad is going to take extra special care of you while your Mom is here.  Maybe he’ll even sneak you one of Mom’s chapsticks so you don’t miss her so much.

Birthdays – Memorable and One I want to Forget

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Cooper Smooch Face

Cooper Smooch Face

I missed blogging on June 12th because I was getting ready for my mom’s birthday on 6/13. I was also tired because The Boy was over playing with me and working with Mom.

Birthdays are funny. On this Mom and I can agree. She had her last birthday in her thirties. I didn’t know anyone who lived that long. They say a dog’s age times seven is human age but I don’t know how to do that many numbers…

On my fourth birthday I had to have some surgery that I am convinced has made me less of a man…ehr…dog. My dad says it makes me less crazy, more calm and now the cat has nothing to bat around when I go visit her. This summer I will be eight which I am told is twice as old as when I was made half a dog on my fourth birthday.

Math is hard. Fetch anyone?

I Should Know This By Now….

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Cooper #pondering

Cooper #pondering

When I started this project with my mom she said (among other things), “And when you eat my things like my peppermint foot lotion, our deal for me to take your dictation is OFF, got it?” I got it. Then I forgot it.

Yesterday I ate my mom’s travel pack for her upcoming trip:

  • granola bar
  • part of a ziploc bag
  • gnawed a bottle of pills that help make a helathy gut
  • gnawed on some electrolyte packets

Mom came home and said words I haven’t heard before and that was AFTER dad called and told her I was hopped up on eletrolytes and granola. I learned my lesson…until the next time I forget…

Human Kisses

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Today was a long, sad day for me.  Eugene was in a rush this morning and he said goodbye as he ran out the door but he didn’t give me a hug and kiss like he usually does.  It threw my whole day out of whack.  The sunshine didn’t last long so there was no sunny spot to lay it.  My bed wouldn’t fluff right.  My water tasted old, even though it wasn’t.  Even barking at the cat in the yard wasn’t any fun. That school thing takes FOREVER and even longer than that when you’re missing your human.

He did say he was really sorry and even spent some extra snuggle time with me when he got home.  Andrew gave me a paper towel roll to chew on and that always cheers me up.  Andrew also said that this school thing is almost over and then they’ll be home all summer.  I can’t wait!  All those extra snacks and dropped chips…uh…I mean all that extra snuggle time.  Yeah snuggle time, that’s what I meant.

Inequality of Canine Cuisine

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Image

Please Ma’am, may I have some more?

Are we truly so much lower than our humans? If the vet pricks us with his pointy needle, do we not bleed a drop or two? If you step on our paws, do we not yipe?   If you hold steak over our heads, do we not beg?  I ask you, my fellow canines, are we so undeserving of a cheeseburger that we have to settle for mere scraps?  Or worse, be stuck with measly old kibble?

It seems to me to be highly unfair that we dogs, who are protectors, exercisers and snugglers of our humans are kept separate from human foods.  And when left to our own devices to procure our fair share of deliciousness, we are scolded, SCOLDED, and labeled as BAD DOGS.  It makes me sad to see such posts as Cooper’s 20 Things I Have Eaten or this shameful photo of myself.

So what if we don’t have opposable thumbs to daintily pick up french fries!  So what if we can’t put leftover meatloaf on a plate or work the microwave!  It is high time we dogs are given our place at the table, to eat from the good china and partake of the not the bones of the chicken but of the bird itself!

Who’s with me?  Can I get a Bow Wow?!

5 Things Dogs Love

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Okay so I know I am a dog. I’ve read that story about dogs loving everything they see “Ooohh my favorite!” It’s partly true. To really understand and appreciate your canine you need to understand these five things we all love:

  1. Our Humans are top notch. Even when you’re a jerk or worse we still love you. Our love is unconditional and you can’t do anything to change that. That’s what unconditional is – without conditions.
  2. Little Humans of our big humans are great too. You just need to give some of us time to get used to not being the only child in the house. My parents don’t have any little humans. We have The Boy who is my dad’s nephew. I have loved him my whole life. He’s 15 years old now and has a girlfriend and sports and goes to a high school so he’s pretty busy. Doesn’t matter cuz I love him unconditionally. He played fetch with me today and wrestled with me on Saturday. Love that guy.
  3. Toys help distract us from all of your stuff that we want to roll around on and eat. We do this because we miss you.
  4. Food especially if it is yours is to be cherished…and eaten. We want to know where you have been and what you’re eating. We want this so much we will sit with our best dog faces and wait for you to see us and share a piece of your food with us.
  5. Furniture is something we cannot help but climb onto when you’re not around…and sometimes right in front of you. I slept on the couch today after The Boy left because I missed him and I was tired and mom was not paying attention to where I was. Love the furniture sneak!

So there you have it…five things dogs love.

Responsibilities

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A Dog’s Work is Never Done

First of all, I have to give a big bark-out to my friend Cooper for lending a paw the last couple of days.  My boys have been pretty sad all weekend.  I’ve been spending a lot of time listening to Eugene.  Andrew has been kind of quiet but he slept in the living room on the air mattress the last two nights and Grandma pretended not to notice when I snuck in to sleep next to him.  I was supposed to be in my bed in the kitchen but I’ve learned that if I walk very slowly and carefully, my toenails hardly click at all.  I managed to sneak right next to the air mattress.  I wish I could’ve climbed on next to him but toenails and air mattresses are probably a bad combination.

It’s a big responsibility being a family dog.  People think it’s all about the fetching, the guard duty and cleaning up the food dropped in the kitchen but it’s so much more than that.  There’s all those therapy sessions too.  Listening to the humans is important.  Of course, I’d never bark a word about what we talk about because that would violate the Canine Code of Honor.  Sometimes, like the past few days here, a dog just has to nuzzle and snuggle their humans.  They seem to feel better knowing there’s a dog on duty.

Taking the Position as Lead Dog

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“lead dog. A team or task leader, typically one who has or is granted significant responsibility.” – The Canine in Conversation

My friend Dusty had this crazy idea we should have a blog for the Author Blog Challenge. She said she dictated to her mom who has thumbs and knows how to type. I asked my mom and she said she thought it was a great idea. So here we are. Dusty has to take care of her boys this weekend. Their grandma went to heaven. So I am taking the position as lead dog for a couple days.

Cooper & Fathom

Cooper & Fathom

Being lead dog is a pretty new thing for me. I think I am doing a pretty good job because I have only eaten some paper and peppermint foot lotion while left alone as lead dog. Until a few weeks ago my brother Fathom was the lead dog. He went to the big dog park in the sky.  He taught me a lot of great things and a few that my parents might say aren’t so good…BOL! (BOL – that’s LOL for dogs)

I asked if Andrew and Eugene’s grandma went to the big dog park in the sky and my mom said, “Well, she went to heaven and the dog park is part of heaven.” I don’t know what heaven is but I hear there’s a movie about how all dogs go there and grandmas too. As long as there is a good game of fetch, I will pretty much go anywhere.

While I am still learning, I know I can be the lead dog blogger for a couple days.  It’s a big typewriter to fill because Dusty sure knows her stuff. She is so deep and she asks questions like if all humans go to heaven. I don’t even know what heaven is except Eugene and Andrew’s grandma is there with my brother and they are playing fetch.

Here’s to taking position as lead dog.

Sometimes my parents talk to me…

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Since I am the lead dog at home now I have a lot of responsibilities. I have to guard the house, guard my mom, eat, sleep, drink water, play fetch and wait for Dad to get home. Then the real work starts because he has me helping him with projects all over the house.

Cooper on his hammock

Cooper on his hammock

“Okay now I’ve got my coffee so let’s go to work,” Mom tells me every morning as she walks to her office. It’s just down the hall. While it may look like I am sleeping the day away I am really guarding the house. I’ll be honest. As I have gotten older it is more sleep and less guarding but she doesn’t need to know that.

“Cooper, let’s play fetch and you get busy,” she tells me when we take a break from work. Get busy is well…doing my business in the yard. Mom throws the franken-ball* and I bring it back. She throws the ball and I bring it back. She throws the ball and I bring it back. I am a Labrador Retriever with a fetch obsession so I can make this go on for hours at a time.

“Cooper, it’s too hot to play outside so just a couple throws.” That’s what she says in the afternoon when we go out to play. I love fetch and would play until I collapsed so she has to tell me this so I remember not to play to much in the heat.

“Get out of the kitchen and take your toys with you.” My mom and dad say it to me at least once a day. I just want to be near them and help them in the kitchen. There’s always food around and if it falls I need to be there to clean it up.

Cooper & Frankenball

Cooper & Frankenball

“Let’s go work in the garage. You can lay on your hammock.” That’s my job when I am in the garage with my dad. I lay on the hammock and don’t eat things off the floor of the garage. I do A LOT of sniffing because everything smells so GOOOD in the garage. Sometimes the noises of the compressor or tools are loud but it’s okay. I can snore…ehr…sleep through anything…just like mom. BOL!**

*franken-ball: a word my dad made up to describe the green spikey ball with an orange paracord. I like to carry it around by the string and mom calls it my purse. BOL!**

**BOL is Barking Out Loud – like LOL but for dogs

What I Do When You Leave Me Alone

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Cooper Allen HatrackBy Cooper Allen Sprankle

 

Sometimes when you leave me alone

All I do is eat my bone

Other times I bark

And wish you would take me to the park

I never wrote poetry

Until you left me no way to pee

Now I sit alone

Wishing I could find a bone

Alone I am

With a sandwich of ham

Sometimes I like to eat

The basket near the toilet seat

When you leave me alone

Do All Humans Get To Heaven?

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I love my humans so much it hurts some times.  Did you ever have your human stare into your eyes like they’re looking for something?  Some deep,  long lost truth of  life, love, death?  Christine does it to me.  She says I’m closer to God because I love unconditionally and without judgement.  She also says all dogs go to heaven when they die.  I already know that.

God promised me heaven before I was in my mama’s belly.

He said we had a special job to do here on Earth and that St. Francis would be our guide.  We had to learn to see love and beauty in all of his creations.  We had to be kind, gentle, loving, playful and be special companions to humans who need us.

Humans look at our eyes and see the deep love and loyalty that we feel towards them.  I hope when they look at our eyes they also see the eyes of God looking back at them.  It’s his love and his loyalty to his own creation, all of his creation, that is reflected back to those who look.  Humans seem to have forgotten how to see those reflections in other humans so they’ve learned to turn to animals.  I wonder if that’s why the human world is such a mess.

Maybe humans need to learn to go to the dog park.  Sniff some other guys butts and then share the sticks and toys.  We make lots of friends and nobody starts any wars over who has better toys.  We share the drinking fountain and nobody claims to own all the water.  It’s just more peaceful to share all the resources.

It makes me wonder sometimes, if all humans get to heaven.  I hope so. I very fond of mine.

Sick Humans

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I think one of the toughest things about being a Mama Dog is trying to take care of sick humans.  Like today for example, Andrew wasn’t feeling well so I stayed on the floor next to the couch to make sure he could sleep in peace.  For some silly reason, he got mad at me when I barked at the noisy grounds crew on the ball field. I was only trying to tell them to take their wretched mowing tractor somewhere else so he could sleep. When he moved to the chair to play video games, I sat on his foot to keep it warm.  Before long he made me move. It wasn’t my fault that the kibble made me a little gassy.  Besides, have you ever smelled a human boy’s feet?  YUCK!

Then my other human, Christine, came home and she smelled funny.  I think she went to the human vet today.  She does that every so often and I don’t like it. I sniffed her all over to be sure she didn’t bring him home in a pocket or anything.  Vets are sneaky creatures.

All that guarding and investigating made me tired so I went to take a nice long nap in my sunny spot. I’ll bet Christine accidentally-on-purpose drops a piece of bologna tomorrow when she packs the boys’ lunches.  Maybe I’ll do the Hungry Doggy Dance just in case she forgets how good I was today.

Attitude of Gratitude

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Cooper Allen SprankleI know it may not seem like it to my parents sometimes but I really am grateful for my life. Maybe my mom dedicates Joan Jett’s “I hate myself for loving you” to me every time she hears it; I know deep down she loves me. She brushed me today that’s how I know.

Here are things for which I am grateful:

  1. Never spent a day at dog jail (aka the pound)
  2. Two meals a day plus snacks for good behavior or sloppy chefs in the kitchen or because I am under foot to grab scraps.
  3. The yard..and I agree with Dusty there are some things that go buzz so much I can’t help myself…I’ve been stung a few times too.
  4. Water and lots of it. I can drink a whole bowl at a time; I am an Arizona dog born and raised so while I am not the sharpest tack in the toolbox I sure know a thing or two about water.
  5. Having had a brother like Fathom. He was one of the sweetest and funnest guys I have ever met. I will start to cry if I write anymore than he went to the dog park in the sky three weeks ago and I miss the heck outta him. So do mom and dad.
  6. The warm spot my dad leaves for me on the bed every morning when he gets up to get ready for work
  7. Shoes…they are nice for my head or my butt or whatever
  8. Elk antlers because they’re just a good snack
  9. Natural skincare products because my parents are good to taste and because sometimes I eat a little bit of product right from the jar.
  10. Time zones: Because of time zones and Arizona not having daylight savings I am slipping this post into the Blog Challenge for Day #3.

Here’s to being grateful!

Things That Go Buzz

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I was out in the yard yesterday, minding my own business and the bush started to make a buzzing noise. Being a guard dog and all, I figured it was part of my doggy duty to investigate. Besides, it’s nice and shady under that bush.  I didn’t see anything right away so I didn’t see any harm in taking a little nap there in the shade.  It’s a mock orange bush with pretty white flowers that smell so sweet, almost as good as bacon – except you can’t eat them.  Well, maybe my friend Cooper would eat them, but I haven’t tried them yet.  I’m a wee bit too short to reach the flowers.  Anyway, while I was lounging under the bush I heard that buzzing noise again so I started sniffing around the leaves on the far side of the bush.  OUCH!!! All of the sudden there was this awful pain in my poor little nose.  My Aunt Cathy told my mom it was a bumble bee that stung me. He was mad at me for sniffing him out.  Well shoot, if he hadn’t made so much noise, I would’ve left him alone!  My nose still hurts.  So a little warning to all my furry friends out there, things that go buzz – leave them be!  Although Mom felt so sorry for me that she gave me some ham.  Then Eugene snuck me some potato chips.  Andrew slipped me a cheese doodle.  It was almost worth getting stung…but not quite.

20 Things I Have Eaten

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by Cooper Allen Sprankle

Some say dogs shouldn’t eat these eight things and lot more. I am here today to tell you that if you want a canine who is a picky eater then reconsider getting a labrador retriever. Trust me. Not only have I eaten at least six of the eight things on that list I have also eaten:

  1. Chinaberries
  2. Bottlecaps (not the candy)
  3. Bees
  4. African VioletsCooper
  5. Wood
  6. Peppermint foot lotion (x2 I just can’t help myself!)
  7. Chapstick (more than I can count…Chapstick brand, Melaleuca brand, homemade, Burt’s Bees…)
  8. Tambourine
  9. String
  10. Papertowels & tissues
  11. Chicken bones
  12. Jar of Pickles (I won’t tell Dad how I opened it to this day.)
  13. 6-pack of Sprite
  14. Crayons & colored pencils
  15. Belt
  16. Nana’s shoes
  17. Wallet plus $40
  18. Curry Rub
  19. Television remote controls (x2) – I crave change!
  20. Dry Soup Mix (x2) The second one I snuck out of the pantry. Almost didn’t live to see dinner that day. Mom was not happy.

And once I tried to eat a bullet but Dad stopped me.

Those are just the things my parents know I ate…imagine if they knew the truth.

Where’s My App?

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Last week there was a lot of laughing from the humans over some video of a cat playing fishing games on the iPad. I ask you dogs, does this seem dignified to you?

Then there was another video of a big ugly bullfrog playing Ant Smasher on a Kindle Fire.  That guy deserved to get chomped!

It hardly seems fair.  I mean, where’s the dog’s game?  What, dogs are too drooly to play with an iPad?  Are you afraid I’ll try to get the squeaker out of it?  Please!  I’m more refined and dignified than that.   We don’t need to play Frisbee with it.  Perhaps a nice game of bark at the delivery man or growl at the squirrels.  There should be an app for that.  Better yet, there should be an app that translates for me.  If ten-year Eugene knows what I’m saying, the adult humans should be able figure it out.  For some reason they can’t seem to differentiate between my ‘There’s-a-Strange-Car-on-the Street’ bark and my ‘Puppy-Potty-Emergency’ bark.  After nine years, you’d think they’d learn but these humans are pretty thick sometimes.  Good thing they’re so lovable.

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